Hello. Is Your Name "The Real World"?

Hello all.

So. You may not even remember me, but I am the other author of this blog. Diane has been regular and faithful, and I have - so many, many times - wished with all my heart that I had enough time to devote to one good writing session. But spare time for me in the past few weeks has been all but nonexistent.

Let me tell you why.

I got a job in October that by all accounts is definitely a blessing. It's part time, but it pays well enough, and I now have at least something to tithe from, which made my whole universe improve. You do not know how long I have been waiting to be able to give my 10%. It is something I am excited and happy and thankful to give.

I also go to school for music twice a week. I'm taking piano and voice, and I am loving it so much. I'm even going to play at this semester's honors recital! So excited.

Aaaaannnnd, I'm training to run a marathon in a year. A full-blown marathon. Yup, 26.2 miles of non-stop running. Why? Because my friend, who we shall name Ironman for conversation's sake (because he seriously can do it all when it comes to extreme fitness), made me promise him that I'd be his marathon buddy in a year. Oh yeah. And that we'd be running another one when we turned 108 years old, too.

So in-between all of this, my acting endeavors--which I threw myself into so passionately in the middle of the summer this year--seems to have taken a back seat, and I think that makes me very sad.

Because here's what happened after I graduated UC Irvine and moved back to the Bay Area:

August: Was an extra for a indie film in which I got to wear my prom dress for a Winter Formal scene. The film was a modern-day take on Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing." The pay wasn't great, and it was a night shoot, but the boathouse was beautiful, I got to wear that pink dress that I love so much again, and I was definitely in a lot of scenes. A win-win all around.

September: I auditioned for and got cast as the lead female role in an epic short film shot in Monterey, CA. It was set in the future, and I was a detention-facility escapee trying to find my individuality. It was a poignant and intelligent film about memory and identity; and though it was short, it was incredible.

Also in September: I was a better-paid extra in the new Brad Pitt film "Moneyball," which is about the Oakland A's. Another night shoot (16 hours to be exact), but we were fed, paid, and got to cheer in our A's gear. Oh yeah, and free hot cocoa! Another win-win :)

October: I was asked to participate in a two-week product trial for a new acne skin-clearing device, and was told that if the product worked for me, they would ask me to give a testimonial in an infomercial. I got to keep the device for free, it worked for me, and they paid me to participate in the infomercial, which was shot near Marin county, and which was a blast. They said it was going to air on national TV, and possibly go international, so if you see anything for the no!no! skin device (weird name, but the product is fabulous!), let me know.

Lastly, I auditioned for an SF talent agency, and they signed me on. Still though, it's been about a month and half and still no auditions. I keep telling myself that SF is a much smaller market than LA, but a part of me still wishes there was more to do than wait around and hope.

So right now, my life has been ALL about work, school, and church. With the holidays coming up, we now have Christmas choir rehearsals, health seminars, fundraisers, and volunteering to do...and my church days are packed to the gills. With work, it's 3-4 days a week of 10-12 hour days of marketing and office time and travel time; and though I love my co-workers and my leaders and my manager, it can get tiring. My body has had to do some adjusting, that's for sure. And with school - let's just say that learning piano is not something you can do without practicing. A lot. Neither is singing. Enough said.

And them the gym. And running. Try waking up to the alarm and realizing that between your school and off days (what ARE those, anyways?? Off days??), you still must find time to keep your word to Ironman about that marathon, who lovingly kicks your butt in workouts 2-3 times a week.

I was talking with my mom the other day (something I do often and never take for granted, I LOVE my mom), and she said, "You're in shock, in transition. You just graduated, and this is the "real world." You were a student for so long, and now you have more responsibility, and that of a different kind, for that matter. Give yourself time to adjust to the unknown. It's always the unknown that's the scariest."

So. This is the "real world." I long to be back in the "real world of pretend," but for now, it seems like that's on hold for maybe just a bit. Hopefully not for too long.

Sometimes I am so, so sad. I want things to happen a certain way, or I dream for them to be a certain way, and when it seems like they aren't, I get discouraged. But there is just too much on my mind to think about myself...I have a family to help, and for now, that needs to come first...*sigh*

What do I do???

Well, let's not get depressed...so! You may ask how do I get my acting fix when the market is biding its time? I watch movies. I study acting, on-screen and off. I people-watch. And I talk to SO many different kinds of people at work all the time that it's impossible to not get better at improv...or at the very least, gain more confidence.

I sing karaoke, I sing for my classes; I do random skits with my brothers, I do actor impersonations. I write when I can, and I always have a good screenplay storyline brewing on the back-burner of my creative side.

Most importantly, I know God's timing is His own, and that I'm just one piece of His lovely mosaic. I can't see the big picture. I'm one person, living one life. But God sees the kaleidoscope...He sees what goes where and at what time. And He's in control. My job is to trust in Him, forever and for always.

My human self sometimes dwells on the negative far too much. Blame it on sin. But I am trying with all my might to exalt God above all else, and know that when He says something, His word will never come back empty. So if I serve Him and Him alone, all the rest will fall into place.

I love you, Lord. And all my life, I live for you.

There are no other hands I'd rather be in than His.

... ... ...

I'll try and make it so that I'm not a complete stranger next time ;) This means writing more often, doesn't it, Diane? Haha, I'll be back soon :)

Love always,

Catherine