Fall is coming and seasons are changing

I'm normally pretty faithful to this blog. It's been a fun way to share my stories of LA and my acting adventures in Hollywood. Some stories have been fun, others have been frustrating but it's been one exciting adventure.

But seasons change and feelings change. I look at my actions and I question why I wanted this in the first place. I don't think my intentions were bad. Maybe naive, maybe idealistic, maybe shallow, but not evil or malicious. But instead of changing others, as I had wanted to, I found that Hollywood was changing me.

I used to be proud of who I was as a person. I was a smart, caring, sweet girl that enjoyed learning and helping others. I had frizzy hair and busy eyebrows and I would leave wearing my mom's hand-me-downs because I really didn't care about my appearance. I figured no one would care about what I looked like.

Hollywood changes people. When I talk to my group of friends who are in the entertainment industry, I seem to be fine by all standards. I'm right on track with where I need to be. But when I talk with people outside of acting, I'm almost ashamed of who I am and what I have become. I've become labeled as one of "those" girls, and it's not who I want to become.

After several talks with some trusted friends, I've decided to back away from Hollywood slowly. Because of several contracts that I have signed, I cannot walk away altogether yet, but I'm starting to pursue my other interests in hopes of becoming a young woman God can be proud of.

I'm glad I went on this journey though. I've created so many wonderful memories and I've met quite a few amazing people. God has been so faithful and blessed me in so many ways, I'm certain it was His will for me to come to LA.

Now onto the next step. I don't know when, where, how or what, but with God on my side I'm ready to face anything that comes.

Year One. Nearly Done.

It's been one year. One year since I left school, said goodbye to a regular 9-5 job offer and embarked to the world of acting. One year since I left my little local youth talent agency and signed with a much larger LA talent agency. Almost one year since I signed with my manager.

What a year. It was the year I finally moved out of my family's home and moved to a big city on my own. It was the year I got my first grown up full time job. It was the year I learned the realities of this show business. I got rejected more times than I could ever care to count, I booked several wonderful projects I was honored to work on, and I learned so much about myself.

Year two begins now (technically at the beginning of August). I am wiser, smarter and just one tiny year older. Things haven't worked out as ideally as I would like, but I'm still in a place I'm comfortable with for now.

So new plan for this year: I'm going to regroup and study. I think I'm ok if I don't have any auditions for awhile, as I just want to focus on learning and growing and not being so "green" (the terribly annoying phrase I keep hearing). I'm going to study my butt off, polish myself for a few months, then attempt to come back with a vengeance in a few months.

I'm excited for the future, though it isn't the step forward I was hoping for. I'm still convinced I was called to come out to LA, though for what reason, I am still unsure of. I don't know anything at all actually - where I'll be in a year, what I'll be pursuing, who I'll be with, when this will happen, but I know my God has a plan and a purpose and He will guide me to wherever He sees fit.

Summertime and the living is easy

So technically summer doesn't start until June 21st but I'm going to start celebrating now anyway.

This past week has been such a fun week. Last Friday I got a call from my agent asking me to go to a last-minute audition. Never one to pass up an opportunity to get out of the house, I eagerly said yes and hopped in my car and drove across town. The audition was SO much fun and I found out on Monday I booked the job. So here was my week's schedule:

Monday - fitting #1 in Venice Beach. I got to meet the directors for photography stills and for the commercial, the agency people, the wardrobe stylists and a lot of the other talent. I spent 3 hours trying on different outfits from racks and racks of clothes.

Tuesday - fitting #2 in the Universal Studios backlot. It was pretty cool to see all of the tour groups in the backlot as I got fitted for the commercial. Lots of outfit changes and costumes. Did I mention this ad campaign is for the European market? Aside from the talent that was mostly American, everyone else was from France and England. It was pretty cool to hear so much French everywhere.

Thursday - print shoot. We went to this gorgeous property (which was HUGE! Mansion would be much more fitting than house) to shoot the print part of the campaign. I arrived, had a wonderful breakfast and went to hair and makeup. Then I sat in a chair for an hour as two lovely women styled my hair, did my makeup and gave me a manicure. The photographer was incredible, as well as the two guys who handed the coffee. Prior to this, I had not done a food product advertisement before, so it was interesting to see how much work went into making my expresso cup look perfect. After every few frames they would switch out my coffee to keep it hot and steaming and to keep the foam perfect. Then I got to see my photos - I wish I got a copy of them! They were absolutely perfect. It was me wrapped up in a blanket sitting by a window with a steaming cup of coffee looking outside at the "snow" they sprayed on the windows. The lighting was soft and romantic and just absolutely incredible. I was in and out within 4 hours which I was thankful for.

Friday - commercial. This was a little more chaotic and a much bigger production than I had imagined. Fortunately I was again the first one to be shot. There were a lot more people than at the print shoot and 8 production trucks lined on this tiny street. I felt so bad for the neighbors! This time I got to sit on the steps and drink more coffee. My outfit was very European - lots of layers, hat, scarf and these amazing boots. I finished shooting within 2 hours of arriving, but they had me hang around for a few more hours. I still finished by 2pm and I went home and napped.

So it was such a great week and the perfect way to celebrate the beginning of summer. Let's hope it was an omen for the rest of summer - full of fun and bookings!

Strangest Phone Call From My Agent

Before I go off into my story, I feel that everyone needs some background first. My agent almost never calls me. If I don't confirm an audition within an hour, my agency will have the receptionist or interns call me with information about the audition. But my agent herself won't call me, unless it's good news.

So yesterday around 5 (which is late) I get a call from my agent. I answer thinking it's about a paycheck I can come pick up for the job I filmed a couple of weeks ago or maybe an audition for tomorrow. Nope. She says I'm on avail for Sony! Whoo! I'm always happy to hear I'm on avail. But here comes the weird part: she said I must have filmed for them in the past and they called to see my schedule for next week. Wait, what? I've never filmed for Sony. In fact, I don't even know what audition they're talking about, as I've auditioned for 3 different Sony projects in the past few weeks. Plus I don't think any of my auditions went particularly well and I didn't go to callbacks for any of them. And I start to think they may have had the wrong girl...

So I ask my agent and she says not to worry about it. Just keep my days clear.

So they're open! I have no idea whether to celebrate or not. If I'm released from the avail, I don't think I'll be too disappointment, as I'm still so confused. What?? However, wouldn't it be awesome if I booked this project I have no idea about?

Fingers crossed with one hand and a confused head scratch with the other.

:)

Audition prep

I'm rather frustrated.

I don't know whether it's my long day of work or my past history of theatrical auditions or what, but I'm so frustrated with this audition tomorrow.

I want it SO badly. So so badly. I'm praying and having everyone around me pray for me. I went to private coaching and paid $100 for one hour of help for 4 pages. That's $25 a page of help. With maybe 6 or 7 lines per page.

I've been practicing like crazy every spare moment I can. But for whatever reason I can't get this character. It's not making sense...the puzzle pieces are getting to the right place, but aren't "fitting" yet. I don't know how to describe it. It's just not where I want it to be yet. I'm not this character yet.

Time is ticking. I have less than 24 hours before this audition.

Lord please help me.

Two down, onto next projects!

So I finished filming my industrial. The director and crew were absolutely amazing and I couldn't ask for anything better. It was really low pressure and everyone was really nice. Taylor (my co-star) was such a sweetheart and I'm excited that he is getting married soon. Congrats Taylor!

I've been crazy busy with work, as my work decided to add on a temporary extra day shift since we're in the middle of a project, so it's been kind of hard to juggle two full time jobs (lots of overlap). Sadly because they're having me work on Mondays, I've temporarily stopped my acting class because it's too exhausting and stressful to do it all in one day.

Meanwhile I just signed up for krav maga classes (Isreali martial arts) with my good friend Sami and I'm in love. It's so empowering to know that I could defend myself if need be.

Tomorrow is a crazy day - 10am I'll be coaching for a major audition on Monday, then 1pm I'll be driving off to work until 4pm, back at home by 5pm and ready to work my second job from 6pm-midnight. Then it's an 8am wake up the next day for my other job. If I can I'll try to make it to church at 7pm (and leave work for a couple of hours). Whew...I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

Have a wonderful night lovelies.

One down, one to go

Whew! So I finished filming on Wednesday and it was an all around amazing day. I met my co-hosts and the crew and everyone was incredibly sweet. It felt pretty surreal to be sitting on the set, with the lights all around and three cameras, sitting next to such amazing people. I couldn't have asked for a better group.

I don't want to spill too many details about the show, but here's a fun story from set: one of my lines had the name "Gotti" in there. For whatever reason, I kept saying "Getty" instead of "Gotti" and I just couldn't get that line right! Take after take I would say "Getti" and would catch myself just afterward :) Fortunately everyone else found it funny so there was no pressure and it's now just a fun memory.

After we finished filming we had our photo shoot. It was so fun to stand there with my new friends and dance and play and be animated and loud. Then we got to do individual video shots and I just loved everything about it.

Overall it was such a great day and I'm excited to share the information with everyone else!

The last two weeks I had auditions for: Tosh.0, a mystery product, Secret Life of the American Teenager, and Music High (a feature film). Next week it's all about seeing if this pilot gets picked up and I'm filming my industrial! I just got done with rehearsing with the other person in the cast and we're both really excited about this.

Have a blessed weekend all!