I'm in a slump.
I haven't worked on a set since August and it's been incredibly frustrating. All of those auditions, all of those coaching sessions, all of those acting classes and so far, nothing.
I've been thinking long and hard about it. Next summer, when pilot season is over and contracts are finished, if I don't book any work I think I'm moving into the next stage of my life. I'm going into full time marketing.
The words are strange to type. For years I thought I had a calling into acting; that I had a greater purpose to being in this industry. That God would somehow use me in this industry for His will. There were so many signs and encouragements along the way that I was made for this crazy, zany lifestyle. I loved it. I still do love it.
But the question now is could I be happy doing something else? I don't think I could ever be as happy as I am driving into an audition or an acting class, but if I could still do something creative, such as graphic design or copy writing, I think that will sort of fulfill my creative needs.
I turned down a full time job offer today. It was something I had interviewed for over the summer, once I was done with college. It represented that fork in the road: do I go into acting and sign with a great manager and agency or do I take this amazingly high paying job (especially for a new graduate)? I took the acting route.
Now that fork comes back again. And because of my commitments, I'll take the acting route again, until summer, when those commitments are over. Then the fork reappears again; maybe this time I'll take a different path.
The good thing about the job is that the money will give you options. You will work hard and play hard which is a fine lifestyle to have. Then when an opportunity comes knocking, and it will because God's timing is always on time, you will be ready for it.
ReplyDeleteYou silly girl.
ReplyDeleteWe've had this conversation. You cannot let the emotions from one job determine your career pathway. I'm guilty of this as well in this time where I'm trying to figure out "Do I really want to do this with my life?" but it seems to add so much more pressure when you say, "If I don't get X by this time, then I'm out of here."
When things are going good, you seem to enjoy it and love it. When it's a little harder, you hate it. You live with your heart and your sleeve, love, and sometimes that means it's going to get a little dirty. Remember that things are all in his timing and he will bring you where you need to go. Listen in the stillness and wait patiently in the darkness. For me, the voice is silent, but I am still listening and I know you are too. Just remember that he is our solid rock, when all else is sinking sand.